I've had a lot of technological topics on my mind these past few months, what with returning to the land of consumerism, buying my first TV and laptop, and the death of and subsequent honor and worship bestowed upon Steve Jobs. But someone showed me this video the other week and I realized that Louie CK had already said, more succinctly and hilariously than I ever could, what I wanted to.
I embed to you "Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy."
-Will
"Like, how quickly the world owes him something he knew existed only ten seconds ago."
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
And For my First Job...
I got the most cliched possibility: a dishwasher. However, since most of the stories from the dishroom involve long hours with steamy old food and spraying bits of ambiguous foodstuffs out of the machine with a hose (somehow there is always macaroni cheese in the grates, yet we rarely serve macaroni), I will tell the tale of the deli line.
I've been gradually learning the ins and outs of the various positions at Lane, our beloved cafeteria, and today I ended up placed in the sandwich line. Seems pretty straightforward, right? For a normal person, it would be.
I suddenly remembered that from Kindergarten to 8th grade there wasn't a school day I can remember that I didn't have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Since then, if I'm having something else, I pretty religiously stick to American cheese with some kind of basic meat. I've never had lettuce and tomatoes on them in my life. I am not known for my exotic sandwiching.
I hadn't glanced at the two ambiguously diced and mayo-ed bins of meat, varying slightly in hue, which I now know were tuna and chicken salad. When the second girl in line asked for chicken salad, I came to the terrifying realization that I didn't know which was which. I had to ask her, which was which.
She told me I was "kind of scaring her," and I understood.
One girl, an acquaintance whom I relayed the episode to, said that since I could not distinguish the two she had "lost faith in me as a human being." It got pretty intense. When I said I didn't like mayo she just walked off.
Then a few sandwiches, a bit of nervous sweat, and one get-into-the-groove later, a girl ordered a pita. This is a bread option difficult to stuff in any situation. It would have been okay if she had ordered hummus and a slice of lettuce, but she ordered half a farm! Lettuce, tomato, salami, ham, pickles, onions, the works. There's like a quarter of an inch of space in these things!
I handed her a plate with her sandwich spilling out from the pita like taun-taun guts, and she gave me this look like it was physically possible to fit such an assortment of sandwich items into this quasi-bread. Not my fault.
Some say that everyone should work food service at least once, which I now heartily agree to. I've always liked the sandwich ladies at lunch--they're friendly, and they make a mean ham-and-cheese-- but I have never had more respect for them.
Tan-colored, Gordon-branded uniform hats off to you, workers of Lane.
-Will
"Whoa! There's a shirt with like, the whole Justice League on it."
I've been gradually learning the ins and outs of the various positions at Lane, our beloved cafeteria, and today I ended up placed in the sandwich line. Seems pretty straightforward, right? For a normal person, it would be.
I suddenly remembered that from Kindergarten to 8th grade there wasn't a school day I can remember that I didn't have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Since then, if I'm having something else, I pretty religiously stick to American cheese with some kind of basic meat. I've never had lettuce and tomatoes on them in my life. I am not known for my exotic sandwiching.
I hadn't glanced at the two ambiguously diced and mayo-ed bins of meat, varying slightly in hue, which I now know were tuna and chicken salad. When the second girl in line asked for chicken salad, I came to the terrifying realization that I didn't know which was which. I had to ask her, which was which.
She told me I was "kind of scaring her," and I understood.
One girl, an acquaintance whom I relayed the episode to, said that since I could not distinguish the two she had "lost faith in me as a human being." It got pretty intense. When I said I didn't like mayo she just walked off.
Then a few sandwiches, a bit of nervous sweat, and one get-into-the-groove later, a girl ordered a pita. This is a bread option difficult to stuff in any situation. It would have been okay if she had ordered hummus and a slice of lettuce, but she ordered half a farm! Lettuce, tomato, salami, ham, pickles, onions, the works. There's like a quarter of an inch of space in these things!
I handed her a plate with her sandwich spilling out from the pita like taun-taun guts, and she gave me this look like it was physically possible to fit such an assortment of sandwich items into this quasi-bread. Not my fault.
Some say that everyone should work food service at least once, which I now heartily agree to. I've always liked the sandwich ladies at lunch--they're friendly, and they make a mean ham-and-cheese-- but I have never had more respect for them.
Tan-colored, Gordon-branded uniform hats off to you, workers of Lane.
-Will
"Whoa! There's a shirt with like, the whole Justice League on it."
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Weathered
Walking out of the dining hall tonight was a more energizing experience than I would have possibly guessed. I could smell the ocean as if I were standing on its shore, although I was miles from it. One side of the sky was tinted orange and the other a strange green, yet the whole of it was glowing as if it were holding back day from us. Early-fallen red leaves kicked up high into the air from a strong wind, driven by the pressure before a storm. It's the sort of night that seems almost supernatural, the kind of weather that makes one expect something incredible to happen.
As I've told most of the people who would listen, I'm incredibly excited for the only two things I couldn't re-experience during my summer America trips; fall and winter-- and I forgot, even, how quickly the former can arrive.
Although I don't consider fall in full swing (as excited as I am to wear my tucs, new and old, they are still optional headgear), the weather has been fantastic from the day I arrived. Instead of this time of year being marked by a constant,"stagnant, blistering heat," I've worn a t-shirt and been hot, a heavy coat and been cold, a raincoat and been wet. Mostly though, a jacket is enough, but that is thrilling to me.
Pumpkins mysteriously and festively appeared on our dorm steps last week, and they were my favorite things. It has been three years since I've seen a pumpkin. Three years! What would Linus say?
Cider is now readily available at the coffee house on campus. Football is flowing like wine, even though both my teams decided to play poorly this week. The Office started up again last week. The weather's getting crisp again, for good. I am a seriously happy person right now.
Because it's October here, and that means something.
-Will
"Because I do want to know what Will's up to and he's not granting me that ability."
As I've told most of the people who would listen, I'm incredibly excited for the only two things I couldn't re-experience during my summer America trips; fall and winter-- and I forgot, even, how quickly the former can arrive.
Although I don't consider fall in full swing (as excited as I am to wear my tucs, new and old, they are still optional headgear), the weather has been fantastic from the day I arrived. Instead of this time of year being marked by a constant,"stagnant, blistering heat," I've worn a t-shirt and been hot, a heavy coat and been cold, a raincoat and been wet. Mostly though, a jacket is enough, but that is thrilling to me.
Pumpkins mysteriously and festively appeared on our dorm steps last week, and they were my favorite things. It has been three years since I've seen a pumpkin. Three years! What would Linus say?
Cider is now readily available at the coffee house on campus. Football is flowing like wine, even though both my teams decided to play poorly this week. The Office started up again last week. The weather's getting crisp again, for good. I am a seriously happy person right now.
Because it's October here, and that means something.
-Will
"Because I do want to know what Will's up to and he's not granting me that ability."
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