...ran it though Google translator, and here's what I got. I don't think the little fella really gets calendars and dates yet, though.
-I found a piece of paper in the big one's closet, and took ones of those "pencils" the humans think I'm so interested in, so I thought I might record some of my life in a journal.
-The big one, Will, seems to be pretty cool. He was much more attentive during my initial days, but he's still pretty awesome, even though he thinks I like tummy rubs.
-Watched the boys play Guitar Hero World Tour for 3 hours, napped through most of it. There's just something about hearing "Livin' On a Prayer" belted, clicked, and smashed through at top volume that puts me to sleep.
-The small girl...Anna, I think, had some cult gathering of fellow small girls. They made this big light on the wall, and watched a movie, but that was the only time that they were anything near to quiet. I thought Anna was loud, but at least there's only one of her. She's pretty nice and I can run away from her if I want. Apparently, when multiple human girls get together, their accumulative sound level is increased exponentially. This was evident during most of the evening, and it was one of the times that I cherished the safety of Will's room.
-Will's mom keeps talking about someone being declawed, and it's stressing Will out nearly as much as it is me. I'm pretty sure they're talking about someone else, though, so no worries.
-I believe Will has some musical event at some point, because he keeps walking into the door repeating the same, strange things about Grinches and clovers. There's also some songs about them, which he unfortunately tests on me. The poor guy just isn't much of a tenor.
-I snuck the paper in the bathroom before Will shut me in here again. I just wanna get out there and jump on his face while he's sleeping. Who is he to deny me that right? I have, however, learned how to jump onto the shower edge, and I saw this other cat in a window across from it. He looks pretty classy, but he's not paying me much attention.
-Been feeling strange, and took the chance to define the term "explosive diarrhea." Walls, outside of the litter box, everywhere. But then I felt really bad that I made such a mess (in the middle of some phone call with a church known as "Emmanuel") and, after rubbing my paws in it and walking a round for a moment, went into the bathroom. There Will found me, partially covered in my own excrement, and had the bright idea to give me a bath (with the help of his mom, of course.) But, if I look at it from his angle, it was probably as unpleasant for him as it was for me, so no harm done.
-Anyways, now I'm napping, and have been for a long time. Will's really worried about me, so they're taking me to the vet tomorrow before headin' off to some game reserve. Sounds pretty cool, though I don't really remember what a vet is. I'll just play it by ear.
Until I find another piece of paper,
Jazz Danger Root Beer Martin
P.S.- I watched this moving picture about these people in an office, and there was a line that I found pretty funny, so I'm gonna throw it in the end here.
"This a dream that I have had since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now."
"
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A Day in the Life
Well, sorry for the dry spell in posts, but it's been pretty boring recently and I try to stay away from writing anything when I'm in a bad mood. It's like shopping when you're hungry- not a good idea. But today was an up and down day. I was initially appalled by today's schedule (95% of my waking hours spent on school grounds,) somehow it all worked out in the end. While you wouldn't think such would occur when you add youth group, 3 hour play practice, and an insane English teacher, I guess sometimes life surprises you.
First off, my english teacher. I've neglected to write about this woman for a long time (even though the urge existed multiple times,) yet today I just have to mention her. She's such a character I just have to write this down so I can link to this when I'm old and prove to all my friends in the holo-nursery home that I didn't make her up. She apparently has very keen ears, and absolutely can't stand anyone tapping or making noise of any kind. Clearly this is not a good pair of traits for any person. Yet I can understand that. Although it's a wee bit neurotic on the Richter scale of insanity, since people tend to do that (absentmindedly and with no ill intent.) So every so often, someone will be tapping without noticing, and she'll kind of freak out. Alright, whatever. But today, as the teacher was reading annoucements, the girl sitting next to me was getting a pen out of her binder. Of course, a malicious act. Now I'll just write it out as a dialogue, because I think you'll get the gist of it without me making snyde comments every sentence.
(teacher- exasperated, yet forcedly smiling thoughout) "Are you ever going to be done making that noise?"
"What? Oh, sorry"
(teacher continues to read daily annoucements, while girl pokes at white eraser with pencil, making no noise)
"Maybe if I hold the paper in front of my face, I won't be able to see you moving so much"
"Ummm, what? Oh....sorry"
"Just don't move...don't breathe....just kidding.....not really"
And then after everyone was quiet for a few seconds, she scolded two other people down the row of chairs, who must have been blinking hard or something. Not making any noise, of course. Think David Brent's (from the British version of "The Office") level of awkwardness, except it's in real life. Just had to get that out there.
And then, after a tiring day, I had play practice. My experiences with play practice here have been...humbling, to say the least. I don't know whether it's the fact I haven't sung on a formal level in a year, or if it's I wasn't that great to begin with, or if the Who's whom I'm ruling with an iron fist (yeah, I'm the Mayor of Whoville- and I wasn't elected, either,) but most of the time it's been pretty bad. Yet, maybe it is just my boring kinsfolk, because whenever all the leads get together to do blocking, it is a heck of a good time. I've always believed that even the crappiest experience could be made amazing with the right people beside you. You could watch all the "Insert vague movie genre here Movie" (e.g. Date Movie, Epic Movie etc.) in a row, but if it was with the right bunch of bunnies, then that could be one memorable experience.
And finally, after said day at school, I trudged home, had dinner, banana cake, and headed off to youth group. I usually hate this weekly event, but a group of factors contributed to this week's being, dare I say, awesome. There's a football team from Wheaton here, but the fact that they hang out with either the little kids or the dorm guys/girls ensures that I have little to no reaction with them. They did, however, both attend and speak at youth group, marking my favorite sermon of all time. Long story short, it was 15 minutes long, and contained the word "awesome" at least half a dozen times. Yet the best was still to come.
After youth group, me and a dude named Joe managed (with help) to dogpile 2 memebers of the team, one of whom was an alumni and has played in the NFL. And, after the largest game of knockout I've ever seen played, aforementioned dude named Joe, two others named Jon and Lee, and I went back into the woods and sat on the new treehouse the Wheaton guys made for a while, just to test it out. Of course, sitting in the woods gets boring after a while, so we decided to go back and jump off of stuff. Luckily, there were some gym mats (thick ones) laying around, so we took it upon ourselves to jump off a second story balcony. Which we did. Many times. Seeing us, our awesome history teacher comes over, and instead of punishing us, jumps off herself. After getting too tired to run back to the top and jump off, we decided to play king of the hill of a balance beam. Needless to say, I came home tired and sweaty. So that was my awesome day. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
-Will
"What would think do if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key."
First off, my english teacher. I've neglected to write about this woman for a long time (even though the urge existed multiple times,) yet today I just have to mention her. She's such a character I just have to write this down so I can link to this when I'm old and prove to all my friends in the holo-nursery home that I didn't make her up. She apparently has very keen ears, and absolutely can't stand anyone tapping or making noise of any kind. Clearly this is not a good pair of traits for any person. Yet I can understand that. Although it's a wee bit neurotic on the Richter scale of insanity, since people tend to do that (absentmindedly and with no ill intent.) So every so often, someone will be tapping without noticing, and she'll kind of freak out. Alright, whatever. But today, as the teacher was reading annoucements, the girl sitting next to me was getting a pen out of her binder. Of course, a malicious act. Now I'll just write it out as a dialogue, because I think you'll get the gist of it without me making snyde comments every sentence.
(teacher- exasperated, yet forcedly smiling thoughout) "Are you ever going to be done making that noise?"
"What? Oh, sorry"
(teacher continues to read daily annoucements, while girl pokes at white eraser with pencil, making no noise)
"Maybe if I hold the paper in front of my face, I won't be able to see you moving so much"
"Ummm, what? Oh....sorry"
"Just don't move...don't breathe....just kidding.....not really"
And then after everyone was quiet for a few seconds, she scolded two other people down the row of chairs, who must have been blinking hard or something. Not making any noise, of course. Think David Brent's (from the British version of "The Office") level of awkwardness, except it's in real life. Just had to get that out there.
And then, after a tiring day, I had play practice. My experiences with play practice here have been...humbling, to say the least. I don't know whether it's the fact I haven't sung on a formal level in a year, or if it's I wasn't that great to begin with, or if the Who's whom I'm ruling with an iron fist (yeah, I'm the Mayor of Whoville- and I wasn't elected, either,) but most of the time it's been pretty bad. Yet, maybe it is just my boring kinsfolk, because whenever all the leads get together to do blocking, it is a heck of a good time. I've always believed that even the crappiest experience could be made amazing with the right people beside you. You could watch all the "Insert vague movie genre here Movie" (e.g. Date Movie, Epic Movie etc.) in a row, but if it was with the right bunch of bunnies, then that could be one memorable experience.
And finally, after said day at school, I trudged home, had dinner, banana cake, and headed off to youth group. I usually hate this weekly event, but a group of factors contributed to this week's being, dare I say, awesome. There's a football team from Wheaton here, but the fact that they hang out with either the little kids or the dorm guys/girls ensures that I have little to no reaction with them. They did, however, both attend and speak at youth group, marking my favorite sermon of all time. Long story short, it was 15 minutes long, and contained the word "awesome" at least half a dozen times. Yet the best was still to come.
After youth group, me and a dude named Joe managed (with help) to dogpile 2 memebers of the team, one of whom was an alumni and has played in the NFL. And, after the largest game of knockout I've ever seen played, aforementioned dude named Joe, two others named Jon and Lee, and I went back into the woods and sat on the new treehouse the Wheaton guys made for a while, just to test it out. Of course, sitting in the woods gets boring after a while, so we decided to go back and jump off of stuff. Luckily, there were some gym mats (thick ones) laying around, so we took it upon ourselves to jump off a second story balcony. Which we did. Many times. Seeing us, our awesome history teacher comes over, and instead of punishing us, jumps off herself. After getting too tired to run back to the top and jump off, we decided to play king of the hill of a balance beam. Needless to say, I came home tired and sweaty. So that was my awesome day. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
-Will
"What would think do if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key."
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